…has all but disappeared. But not because I’ve stopped buying shoes. Nay, I’ve probably bought more shoes in the last few months than I ever have in my entire life because, well, my husband is in Iraq and I’m very lonely. But, Steve Madden would never abandon me. Oh, Steve, you’re such a naughty boy.

A few weeks ago, some girlfriends and I went gangbusters in a Steve Madden store. (And by “my girlfriends and I,” I mean “I” went gangbusters in Steve Madden while my girlfriends stared in abject horror and my unbridled spending habits and my definitely-on-the-whorish-side taste. But, this shopping excursion was the closest thing to sex I’d had in months.) I think my eyes are still having sensory orgasms. Behold my babies:

The Chapp: “Quickly! Get me to the haberdashery shoppe! Wait, not that quickly! These are five-inch heels!”

The Kapture: This lovely spring green looks surprisingly pretty with, oh, everything.

The Reede: I can’t tell you how girlie these make me feel when I wear them. Oh, yes I can. This is my blog. “These make me feel so freakin’ girlie.”

The Togga: Uh, hello sexy dominatrix gladiator goddess.

God, I love Steve Madden. He’s so impractical.